Ukrainians and Food

Once I invited some friends over to my parents' place. After a huge meal with many different dishes, the sated friends started getting up. "Where are they going?" asked my mother who doesn't speak English. "Tell them all to sit back down. These were just the appetizers. I also have hot sandwiches, entrées, and a dessert to serve." 

At the end of the meal people had to crawl away from the table because they were so full. "Ask them if they want a snack," my mother said. "I have a lot of snacks to offer. It isn't like I'd allow your friends to leave the house hungry."

Ukrainian National Pastime

Here is how the product looks when you
buy it

The most popular national pastime of Ukrainians (as well as our brilliant relaxation practice) is eating sunflower seeds. As you are working to liberate the seed from the shell, you forget about all your troubles and experience true nirvana. Sunflower seeds also help to lower blood pressure, which is important for Ukrainians whose national cuisine augurs early death from a stroke to people who consume it on a regular basis.

In these photos you can see the most recent innovation in the complex process of struggling with sunflower seeds. I hope that the talented individual who invented this fantastic thing makes a lot of money off it because it isn't often that people come up with something this amazing.

And this is how the contraption looks
while you are using it

The seeds are sold in a plastic cup that is located inside of another plastic cup. You join them with a red plastic clip and place the shells in the empty cup. You can easily carry the whole contraption wherever you go. When you are done, you just close the cup with a plastic lid and throw it out. Is that amazing or what?

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Is Another Chernobyl Possible?

The crater of the
Chernobyl reactor

In 1986 one of the reactors at the Chernobyl Nuclear Plant exploded. Now, a quarter of a century later, the entire area around Chernobyl that used to be a beautiful, florid place is completely dead. If you want to see what a nuclear disaster really looks like, do a Google search. You will see such horrible devastation, such terrifying birth defects that you will not be able to forget it. 

Today, we keep hearing that there is no possibility of a similar catastrophe in Japan. Of course, we are being told that while more and more people test positive for radiation:  

Japan’s nuclear safety agency said there is “absolutely no possibility of a Chernobyl” style accident at the Fukushima No. 1 plant, Koichiro Genba, the national strategy minister said, as quoted by Jiji Press. 

The minister made the comment citing the Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency at a meeting of the ruling Democratic Party of Japan. 

Meanwhile, a US aircraft carrier deployed for relief efforts has repositioned after detecting low-level radiation from a malfunctioning nuclear power plants, a US statement has said. 

People around the area, already ravaged by the earthquake and tsunami, are worried at the prospects of nuclear radiation. 

“I am due to give birth soon, I want to know exactly what is going on at the nuclear plant. I am scared,” said one woman. 

Twenty people have tested positive for radiation exposure and that number looks likely to rise.

I truly hope that Japan is spared the horrors a nuclear disaster brought to my country and the neighboring Belarus by Chernobyl. Still, we will never be free from the terror that another such catastrophe is possible. Humanity is not ready for nuclear power, in my opinion. We should give it up.

We condemn tyrants like Hitler and Stalin, but what about the irresponsible scientists who shared this potentially fatal discovery with the world? How much worse are these people, who for fame and money, brought humanity to the brink of extinction?

Is Ukraine a Third World Country?

I always refer to Ukraine as a Third World country. I don't believe that this term has become outdated since the end of the Cold War. I don't even think that the Cold War has really ended, but this is a topic for a different post. In my opinion, the term "Third World" is very useful when describing a certain kind of reality, a certain way of being and thinking that is shared by a variety of countries in the world. 

So here is a list of characteristics that, in my opinion, make Ukraine a Third World country:

- our colonial past that still defines us in every way. Ukraine only achieved independence in 1991 after centuries of brutal colonial domination that destroyed our economy, ravaged our culture, and claimed the lives of millions of people. You don't get over such an experience just by declaring yourself independent.

- colonial mentality always looks for a master. In Ukraine, half of the country is eager to debase itself in any way to please the Russians. The other half, would do the same to please the EU. 

- the entire society is corrupt on every level. People insist on giving bribes even when none are solicited from them. The idea of paying one's taxes or not cheating on exams only provokes roaring laughter. The most successful person is the one who cheats the best.

- working hard has no prestige attached to it. Prostituting oneself, taking bribes, cheating and stealing are considered a lot more prestigious.

- contrary to popular opinion, people in such countries are not necessarily poor. Countries are poor because citizens steal everything they can lay their hands on. As a result, people do quite well for themselves while the state is falling apart.

- people are very resilient, cynical, harsh and unsentimental. However, they always turn a face of fake hospitality and accommodating niceness to a foreigner (who is always considered "stupid.") It always makes me feel very sad to hear a well-meaning Westerner gush about his trip to Ukraine where everybody was super nice to him.

I know that all of this sounds very harsh, people. But what can I do if I don't want to play the "let's-lie-to-the-stupid-foreigner" game any more. People from developed countries have this annoying tendency to pity those of us in the Third World. They like to imagine us as dirty, starving, piteous, and grateful for any handout. They believe they can enlighten us and improve our existence by bringing us the values of democracy, human rights and freedom. Little do they know that the very people who seem to listen attentively to their speechifying laugh uproariously behind their backs at their naïveté.

Being a Ukrainian Woman

Being a Ukrainian woman often blows. On the one hand, people perceive us as stupid whores. I can't tell you how many times people have asked me whether I was a mail-order bride or a prostitute immediately after I mentioned that I was from Ukraine. On the other hand, we make every effort to ensure that people keep perceiving us as stupid whores. Here is the most recent story that illustrates my point perfectly.

A radio station in New Zealand ran a contest titled "Win a Wife":

The Rock FM radio station ran the competition called Win a Wife, offering a 12-night trip - along with $2000 spending money - to Ukraine organised by a bride agency, Endless Love Agency, which says on its website it offers "beautiful genuine Ukraine ladies looking for love and marriage with Kiwi men". A winemaker named Greg was the winner and he is due in the Ukraine mining town of Donetsk later this month before also visiting another town called Zaporizhia. The prize does not include travel for the Ukraine woman to come to New Zealand.

Ukrainian feminists protesting
the objectification of women

Appalling, offensive, horrible. So, obviously, Ukrainian feminists decided to protest. Their way of protesting the objectification of women was to come out into the streets . . . naked. In winter. Which, in Ukraine, is a very cold season.  


That's Ukrainian feminism for you. It's doing wonders for the image of Ukrainian women all over the world.