How to Meet Women If You Are a Nice Guy?

The debate between pick-up artists, their detractors and the detractors of their detractors rages on. My only contribution to the issue of how to meet men (or women) is that if you are asking this question, you are in trouble. Unless you change your entire way of seeing people of the gender you like, you aren't going to be very happy in your personal life. You don't need to meet women (or men.) Women and men don't want somebody who is looking just for anybody. Individuals are looking for somebody who wants them. Not men or women in general but them, as a person, as a unique human being. 

There are no magic words, lines or actions that will get this non-existent, imaginary category of women (or men) to like the person who has mastered them well. That's simply not how it works. People have a tendency to be different and even women (and men) are people. What one person finds adorable, another person hates. 

So what do you do if you are a nice, shy, quiet guy who thinks he has met or seen a girl he likes? My advice is that at most you need to say "hi." And let things happen from there. If she doesn't respond, she doesn't like you. So just let it go and move on. If you believe that you need to make her like you, prove that you are worthy of attention, or do things to attract her, congratulations, you are a misogynist. The idea that women need to be convinced to like a guy or to be with him is deeply misogynistic. Believe me, women are perfectly capable of knowing whom they do or don't want. If a woman likes you, she will make it known to you very clearly. I have seen extremely shy, nerdy women go after guys they liked with a steely determination of fighter pilots. 

The piece of advice that gets reiterated most often when people discuss this subject is that you need to be confident and let go of your insecurities to get women (men) to like you. This is very stupid advice, my friends. Some folks do like confident - and sometimes even overconfident - people. Many women (men), however, don't. You cannot predict or control anybody's personal preferences. This is sad news for a culture that believes everything can be controlled through information gleaned from self-help books, talk shows and the Internet. Sexual attraction, however, cannot be controlled. Either a person finds you desirable or, s/he doesn't. Courting your paramour will only give you the dubious honor of being tolerated because nothing better came along. A person who likes you will not need to be persuaded, courted, or convinced.